76

76 days.

That is how long I have been out of Salzburg. Out of those 76 days I have spent 66 on a different continent [North America] in the wonderful city of:

Chicago. It is by far my favorite city in this world (and of course I’m biased. I was born here).

In the last four years I was never out of Salzburg for long. I think the longest I spent away from Mozart’s beautiful city in those four years was never more than a little over a month and a half. And it sure feels good to be home.

Now that a decent amount of time has past since the end of last semester (and the winter semester has started for everyone back at the university) I find myself missing Salzburg more than I had expected to. I don’t think that I under appreciate how lucky I am to be able to live and study in Salzburg, although, at times I’m sure I don’t appreciate it enough. I don’t miss Salzburg on an hourly basis. I don’t miss Salzburg on a daily basis, nor on a weekly one for that matter. I do however, miss Salzburg because of the family I have there and the number of friends and great people I have met over the last four years who are there while I am not. I hope they consider themselves missed as I miss them very much.

On the other hand, I love being home and that is my main focus at the moment, (aside from working for a finance company from 8:00am-13:30 Monday through Friday, babysitting from 15:00 through 17:30 Monday through Thursday, catching up with friends from elementary school and high school, and doing my best to be as helpful as possible to my loving and hardworking family).

76 is an odd number. Maybe I should have waited a few more days [four to be exact] before writing an entry for this blog (an entry, I might add that is long over-due).

7 + 6 = 13 (13 is the jersey # of the most talented soccer player I had the honor of playing on the same team with for six years. My jersey # has always been 14).

14 = the # of days I have been thinking about what to write for this entry.

7 = the # of days I kept putting off writing down what I had in mind.

14 / 7 = 2

2morrow is a brand new day, and I have to be at work in six hours time, which gives me 4 ½ hours of sleep until then. . . so as always,

TTFN

All good things come to an end...

And so does this blog – at least for now. And so do many other things like a seemingly endless application procedure for an exchange year. But I am happy to announce that I AM DONE. Well, actually I have been for a little while now but there was just so much to share about the whole application procedure and forms, horrors, and I always like to keep people a little in suspense.

One important lesson that I’ve learned from this whole experience is that when you think it’s over … it ain’t yet. After I had handed in all my application documents (several times, might I add) I thought I could lean back and relax. Wrong. It became obvious pretty quickly that there were more forms to be filled out, confirmations to be obtained, and a certain blogger to be kept in suspense.

Then, about two months ago, I finally received the letter. It contained the official confirmation that I would be a visiting graduate student for the academic year 2010-11 at “The-one-that-will-hopefully-work-out” (unfortunately “The-one-that-shall-not-be-named” fell through). The letter also contained pre-arrival information for international students and a form that I needed for my visa. Just imagine myself jumping up and down, laughing like crazy after I had opened the letter. I still get a warm and fuzzy feeling when I think back to that moment when all the hardship came to an end. Now the real preparations could begin.

The associate Dean of Graduate Admission also sent me the names of professors for my two majors that I should contact for the selection of my courses. After checking out all the classes offered in the fall and making lists I came up with enough classes that really interested me. And I am happy to announce that I am already enrolled for four classes, i.e. two for each of my majors. And I already have my own university web mail account from “The-one-that-did-work-out”. Next order of business was finding myself a place to live. So I signed up for a room in a graduate residence hall and recently received my room placement (I am in room number 213!) and I chose a meal plan as well. Okay, so now I have a place to live and I will be fed properly, so what else is/was left to do?

One thing was to get a student visa. So after finals were finally done I headed to Vienna on my birthday to work my charms on everyone at the embassy. And don’t worry, I already booked my flight a while ago and got a brand-new passport with a brand-new picture (I was twelve when I got my last passport). I am proud to announce that my visa application was approved and after spending a couple of days with my family, my passport with my visa actually got home before I did. Jumping up and down again and that warm and fuzzy feeling keeps returning…

Now I am counting the days (12 today) until I am leaving in the middle of August. Even finals didn’t seem as frightening this year with the next couple of months in mind. The next two weeks will be filled with work, a lot of parties (most of them birthdays – among them my own and half my family’s), starting to pack (now that’s a scary thought), and enjoying my time and the summer if it should decide to return soon.

Yours truly,

Lemon

Cleopatra, or how I almost lost my mind

Roughly one year ago, my grandparents asked me to look after their cat Cleo. They were going to Italy for ten days and wanted to drop her off at my brother’s apartment. I was staying there for a month because he was on holiday as well.
I’m a cat person, so of course I said yes. Well, another reason why I agreed was because I’m a student and, as such, always broke. Knowing my grandmother, I could also expect a hefty tip for looking after her Cleo. However, it’s true that I really do love cats. I don’t know why but there is something about them that makes me smile and relax. We have a cat of our own – more like a fixed piece of living room furniture because she hardly ever moves – so I thought it wouldn’t be a problem. Looking back I can only laugh at how naïve I was. The signs of foreboding were all there.

My grandparents dropped Cleo off on a chilly September morning. They gave me a to-do list and a bag full of toys. I was well prepared and had already bought cat food from the supermarket. I still remember how excited I was when I showed Cleo her ‘new kingdom’. I was such a fool.

The trouble started the next morning when I saw that something must have upset Cleo’s stomach. My brother’s carpet has never been the same since, let me tell you. I took a quick look at the list and saw that I wasn’t supposed to feed her supermarket chow but Hill's Science Plan. Obviously, you only get that from special pet stores – I figured that out after having been to six supermarkets – and three hours later I was finally back home. It was definitely the most expensive food I had ever bought but since it wasn’t coming out of my pocket I didn’t really care. I guess Cleo’s delicate stomach just couldn’t handle regular cat food because the next day everything was fine again and her digestion had settled down. Since the only victim was my brother’s carpet - net worth: €2 from Ikea - it wasn’t too bad.

I didn’t want another incident like this on my hands so I studied the to-do list religiously - no less than 28 points - to make sure Cleo would still be alive and kicking when my grandparents came back.
1. “Don’t let her go outside”.
She was an indoor cat so I had to make sure the door to the patio – the apartment is on the ground floor – would be closed at all times.
2. “Do not pet her belly or she will be upset”.
Some of the things didn’t really make sense to me but most of them were easy enough to follow

On the third day Cleo must have finally settled down because that was when she started to show her true colors. She basically didn’t move the entire day but the minute I turned off the light she was up and ready to go …. or let’s say, ready to bug me. It’s like she sensed that I wanted to sleep and suddenly she was all over the apartment, inspecting everything. She usually started off with the desk. Every piece of paper had to be rumpled to her satisfaction. So I had to get up and put it away. Then she decided to throw down everything in reach. So I had to get up and clear the entire desk. After that she found the garbage can in the kitchen and had a look through it. I always thought only dogs do that.
Anyways, two hours later, after I had cleared everything away – at least now number 12 made sense “Keep things out of reach” which I thought only included ‘dangerous’ things – Cleo finally seemed to calm down. That’s when she decided to use the cat pan. My grandparents brought along some – what else!? – very expensive and special cat litter. It was supposed to be super hygienic and all that. The problem was that this cat litter sounded like hundreds of little glass marbles rubbing against each other. And that was what she decided to do now. I swear she took forever to dig around and trample all over the litter in order to get the best noise out of them. At this point I was so freakin’ tired that I wanted to scream ‘Take a dump already!’. I must have nevertheless dosed off because the next thing I remember was the feeling of being crushed by something. When I opened my eyes two large glowing eyeballs were hovering inches away from face, staring at me. This was ‘pet time’ as I found out because Cleo wouldn’t let me go to sleep again.

The next day I realized that I had only noticed half of Cleo’s rummaging last night. She must have been quite busy and even decided to give the door frame a good scratch. ‘’My brother is going to kill me’’ is all I thought while cleaning away all the wood shavings.
Anyway, I had learned my lesson – or better yet, Cleo had taught me - and I stuck by the to-do list from then on. A lot of things made better sense now, like number 14 “Go for a walk” and number 11 “Play before going to bed”.
I realized that if I exhaust her enough before I go to sleep she will leave me and most importantly my brother’s apartment in peace. The going-for-a-walk thing was something I really wasn’t looking forward to. I noticed that my grandparents also brought along some sort of cat-leash. I’m usually not someone who gets embarrassed quickly and I didn’t really know any of the neighbors all too well; still, going for a walk with a fat cat was not really something I wanted to do. However, I also couldn’t let Cleo take out her restlessness on my brother’s apartment so I did what I had to do … or I tried at least. The moment we were outside – I chose nighttime to avoid as many people as possible – she didn’t move an inch. I ended up carrying her around a little and then it was her turn to walk a bit. It wasn’t fun at all … at least not for me.

On the 4th day we finally agreed on a daily routine that suited Cleo best – meaning she was the boss – and things started to settle down. I knew just how long I had to play with Cleo to tire her out. I began to notice this mischievous sparkle in her eyes when she was about to torment one of the wooden door frames … or the couch – number 4 “Keep her off the couch” sounded optional until then. I found a nearby tree where Cleo could get rid of all her aggressions. The actual problem was that I just couldn’t leave her alone. Trips to the supermarket or the library had to be perfectly timed in order to coincide with Cleo’s naps.

On the 7th day all hell broke loose. It was 2 a.m. when I heard Cleo’s excited growling – never a good sound, trust me – and some sort of squeaking sound. Cleo was standing on my bed with a mouse in her mouth. I could only see the wiggling tail which made it look like she was eating spaghetti. Not funny at that time, though. I realized I left the door to the balcony open and she must have snuck out and caught probably the dumbest mouse on earth – Cleo is NOT a ferocious hunter. I praised her and petted her head and tried to get her off my bed. However, she decided to drop the mouse, which quickly ran to the next hiding place, with Cleo on her tail. Somehow I just couldn’t let her kill the poor creature so I ran after Cleo and tried to catch her. This was a feat on its own because she turned out to be quite fast. I had scratches up and down my arm until I finally managed to lock her out on the patio. Cleo was out of her mind. She screamed like crazy with foam dripping from her mouth and her eyes glistening with rage. Ok, I made that up … but not the screaming part. She was also scratching against the glass window, a sound which sent shivers down my spine.
Now I only had to catch the mouse, something I hadn’t exactly thought through at 2:30 in the morning. I kinda believed it would still be in shock but that little bugger was quick. Half an hour later – Cleo still hadn’t calmed down – I was on my knees chasing after the mouse like a lunatic. Not my finest hour, believe me. I had to move every piece of furniture away from the wall to limit the hiding spots. I was armed with a cooking pot in one hand and a short stick in the other one, but I just couldn’t trap the mouse. I must have been too noisy – Cleo certainly was – because one of my neighbors decided she has had enough and started to bang against the wall.
So here I was at three o clock in the morning, chasing after a little mouse over a battlefield that once was my brother’s apartment, caught in the middle of a furious cat who wanted to kill me because I stole her midnight snack and an angry neighbor who had gone from muttering to shouting indelicacies. At that time I already had gone over from simply catching the little creature to smacking the pest with volume 1 of The Norton Anthology of English Literature.
I took a deep breath, cleaned up the room enough for me to get to the bed, let Cleo in, who had finally stopped screaming, followed shortly afterwards by a more relaxed neighbor and went to sleep. “Let Cleo finish the mouse off, I don’t care”.

After I was done cleaning up the next day I was beat. I couldn’t wait to get rid of Cleo and I tried to keep my distance. It was hard to not let my guard down when she crouched down on my lap and started purring. It was even harder to pretend that I actually enjoyed petting her and that I didn’t know she was deliberately trying to drive me crazy. You see, I couldn’t let her suspect that I was literally dying to be rid off her. I’m going to stop now because I’m starting to sound like the lunatic from Edgar Allen Poe’s Tell-Tale Heart.

Finally my grandparents picked her up and a feeling of relief washed over me. Am I exaggerating? Maybe, but seeing them drive off with Cleo in the back of the car was too good to be true. I swear, just before they turned left at the corner of the street she winked at me and an evil grin was on her lips.
Some time later I moved back into my dorm and my brother called to tell me he had to buy a mouse trap because he was sure he had seen one running around in his apartment. I said nothing.

What did I learn from all that? Not much I guess . . . only to never ever trust the shiny fur and the big eyes, because some cats are straight out of hell. I’m still a cat person by the way.

WHERE IN THE WORLD

Has RedShoes been?

I know that it has been a while … lots of things going on. And, as a matter of fact, I have been around quite a bit. But more on that later; now there are far more important things to talk about.

So, hello there again. Summer is finally here; hence, it’s time to talk thongs. White, black, red, blue, green, leopard print or sequined – in all the colors and patterns one can imagine. And it is really hard these days to say who loves wearing them more, the guys or the girls..

You say what? No, I am talking about shoes: flip-flops, beach sandals, or, well, thongs. These terms are often used interchangeably, since all three terms depict shoes which have a toe-separating component and y-shaped straps (that’s what makes them thongs). Another thing they share is the flip-flop sound when walking due to the free back. Sometimes, however, flip-flops and thongs do stand for two different types of shoes: flip-flops are usually made of rubber or foam – materials which tolerate getting wet and are generally pretty sturdy. Usually, these shoes are flat or may have a wedged heel and are for said reasons often less expensive than the more fashionable and elegant thong sandal.

Thong sandals on the other hand are usually made of a variety of materials and come with different types of heels and different heights. Often they can be rather extravagant and are worn with elegant outfits but they can also spice up casual clothing.

However, today I’m going to talk about the foam-type flip-flops. As long as there are flip-flops there will also be discussion about their propriety. When are they appropriate? And on what occasions? Easy question? Don’t fool yourself; it isn’t THAT easy (at least for some people – you’ll be surprised!). The most prominent example of a flip-flop No-No leads us back to the White House in 2007. The good old times? Not really. The fashion faux pas was as follows: Northwestern University's champion women's lacrosse team visited the White House to meet with President Bush WEARING FLIP-FLOPS. How could they? In this article two fashion specialists clearly state their disgust with these women’s poor sense of fashion. In this situation (meeting the president is a rather rare occasion...) flip-flops are surely unacceptable; but on which other occasions should one choose more appropriate footwear?

Here’s a list:

• restaurants (if not on the beach)

• churches (especially not at a funeral!!)
  weddings

• in your office, especially in a corporate environment or other job(except if you work at the beach)
  
• clubs or bars (yes, people wear flip-flops with dresses)
  
• concerts
  
• first dates or other, important out-of-work meetings
  
• and, most importantly, whenever your feet are not in the right condition to be presented to the world; make sure your toes are pedicured.

David Zinczenko, editor-in-chief for Men's Health magazine, even claims it best not to show toes at all, especially at your work place. According to a Men’s Health poll 55% of women said that they do not want to see men in open-toed sandals. Something I can fully relate to. There’s nothing more disgusting than seeing old men’s abhorrent toes. Atrocious! (Photos wouldn’t be appropriate here either!!)

This list doesn’t cover every occasion but surely the most important ones. Wearing the appropriate clothes is an important means of signaling respect and thus places like churches (and I’m trying not to sound hypocritical, this is serious for once), your work-place, restaurants and other meeting places with people you respect. Taking this into account we should probably go for more polished shoes at university as well but on the other hand there is nothing like a “university dress code”. To make flip-flops appropriate for a day at university one should combine them with casual clothes such as capris, shorts or skirts (casual I said) or with blue jeans, an item of clothing you can always rely on. On the contrary, the only places where flip-flops are more than appropriate and fully serve their function are the public shower, the swimming pool and the beach.

Having set straight when to wear flip-flops and when to choose closed shoes considering the situation only leaves one question left to be discussed. According to Hathorn “white people wear flip-flops all year round and with everything.” A claim which certainly holds true: A friend of mine once told me, absolutely convinced of herself, that “flip-flop season starts in March and ends in October/ early November” no matter if there’s already snow two meters high. In addition, Hathorn says “White people don’t consider weather conditions or the rest of their outfit when they slide their feet into those flip flops.” Is this true? I don’t think so; allow me to introduce you to this website, if you haven’t heard of it yet. At the same time incredibly hilarious and hideous. Sometimes I do ask myself whether people have a full-length mirror at home or do they just not care about what they look like? Incredible, really. However, coming back to Hathorn’s claim, there seems to be some truth in it. Eight of the ten comments on his post confirm his observations and his point of view; the ninth is a “year round flip-flopper who couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks of [his/her] footwear choice”. The tenth commentator, however, takes the opposite position and writes about a black man coming out of the laudromat with flip flops on in the winter though. So there’s at least a tad of proof that it’s not just us “whities” committing this particular fashion faux-pas.

The last point I am going to talk about is the question of whether wearing flip-flops damages your health. According to this article by Daily Mail Online medics claim that flip-flops may cause joint pain, shin splints and twisted ankles. Mike O’Neill, a foot surgeon, even calls this type of footwear dangerous as they stretch the calf muscles and strains the achilles tendon and the back of the foot. The “thong” presents another problem because it doesn’t offer enough support to the wearer, which is dangerous in terms of tripping over and hurting yourself. According to the statistics in the article, “55,100 men and women went to hospital with flip-flop-related complaints in 2002.” However, doctors also warn about wearing high-heels which sounds much more plausible. If you’re out and about on high-heels and a little bit tipsy and tired (you know what it’s like) you’ll be a “little unstable” by the end of the night and thus much more likely to fall over. Usually such falls often include dislocated ankles, torn ligaments or, in the worst case, a broken ankle or leg. Those doctors don’t make deciding what to wear out on such hot nights easy, eh? Your safest bet is probably staying home. Not cool.

So, what have we learned today? Usually white people wear flip-flops all year round in all weather conditions and do not care what they wear with them. Also, flip-flops can be as bad for your health as they can be for your career. Choose wisely when to wear flip-flops or more polished shoes (always taking the situation and the imposition into account), because wearing the right outfit is an important (and also very obvious!!) means of signaling respect. And, just in case you are invited to the White House make sure to wear APPROPRIATE shoes (I cannot emphasize this enough) or if you cannot get around your poor sense of fashion do it the “Northwestern University Lacrosse Team 4-step”- way:

Step 1: Wear the ugliest and most inappropriate shoes you have in your closet: flip-flops made of foam.

Step 2: Combine it with some rather appropriate outfit and pretend not to care about the way you look.

Step 3: Ignore the media discussions you have started and turn them to your benefit ->

Step 4: Calm the media, forget about your faux-pass and auction your flip-flops off for charity.

TTFN RedShoes.

Superwoman in disguise..

I cannot recount the number of times people have told me that studying English will not get me far later on in life. But I don’t think this is true. These people often think that studying English at the University of Salzburg, as at any other university, only consists of reading and writing things in English. There is much more to it than that, however, and when I’m finally done with my degree, I am sure it will suit whatever kind of job or career I move into.

Over the past four years I have mastered the skill of speed-reading and efficient time-management (Forget about those utopian to-do lists!). How else could you possible cope with the Department’s reading list in just one month? Also, every course has specific deadlines for projects and papers, which has taught me how to work under (extreme) pressure. A professor of mine once told us:

“Don’t forget that a seminar paper consumes a lot of time. You need to do research and really get into your topic before you write critically about it. A good paper takes much longer than just a week to write.”

Longer than a week? Usually I have no more than 3 days left to write a paper. But I digress.

These skills, along with what’s actually being taught throughout the year, prepare you perfectly well for life after university. Although I don’t think I can change the whole world in just one go, there are numerous things one can, at the very least, set a starting point.

I am not talking about the most obvious way of slowly but surely changing the world with my English degree (tutoring/giving private lessons), although this has already had some tangible results: Lazy as she is, my sister slept through most of the eight years of grammar school and only realized this two weeks before her final exams. My parents were not amused. What followed was two weeks of intense studying (as well as sisterly love that almost turned into pure hate) and in the end she passed with flying colours. Mission accomplished: family tensions eliminated.

However, one can change the world on an even smaller scale. Of course, I could also apply for the position of Austria’s Next Top Chancellor and then use my knowledge of English to set certain things straight. This, however, is not going to happen besides I’d much rather be the Queen of England. And, I am also not a hypocrite, so please don’t expect a moving fairy tale about me going to Third World Countries to teach English. I’d like to take a more down-to-earth approach focusing on how very little things can change a lot, even if it’s just a smile. (Or some very relieved parents.)

Have you seen the movie “Pay it forward”? If not, you should certainly watch it sometime. Anyway, Trevor, the film’s main character, has an idea I really like and I think it’d be a good way to start changing the world. (If someone does you a favor, don’t pay it back, but forward it instead – to at least three people who then forward it a further three times. This results in a chain-reaction and spreads quickly across the world. Nice idea, eh?)

And yes, the English language fits in here just fine. The other day at a local supermarket I saw this old man looking desperately lost and there were no shop assistants in sight. As soon as he’s seen me, he approached me and asked me kindly to read out loud and translate the description at the back of some canned food. He’d forgotten his glasses, he told me, and was very appreciative of my help. He hadn’t experienced such kindness in a long time. Such a small thing and so little effort involved but the old man seemed happy as he walked off. (I saw him again walking up to his car but I fled as quickly as I could before he turned the car park into a dodgems ride.)
It was good, though, to see someone happy having helped them just by knowing a language.
English is the best possible way to help people who ask for directions or any other kind of help. It is widely spoken and understood; if you have a good command of the English language you are more than fine in most countries. Now it’s up to you to change the world, even if it’s just on a small scale. And think about it, how happy you’d be in a foreign country if somebody explained to you the ingredients of what you were going to eat beforehand. (Just in case.)

The end isn’t near, it’s here . . . finally

Sounds very apocalyptic, doesn’t it? Unfortunately for all you conspiracy nuts out there I’m not going to be talking about some secret alien invasion – sure . . . I totally believe Roswell was a cover-up, too – and I also can’t offer any new insight into why the Mayas apparently foresaw the end of the world as we know it in 2012. Being a student and all, I’m talking about the end of semester.

Every student experiences the end of the semester differently. Some have no idea how they are going to pass all the exams they have lined up, while others are spending their days - and now thanks to an initiative of the student union their nights as well - writing their fifth paper on whatever. Of course, there are those among us who have no idea why everyone is stressed out, because they have no problems passing their three or four courses. Whatever group you belong to and after you have handed in your last paper and sat your final final exam, it’s time to take a deep breath and look back at ‘what went down’ this past semester.

Some of us decide that they will definitely take more courses next semester – haven’t we all said that before – and others intend to scale back on the number of classes in order to squeeze in an internship somewhere. Unfortunately, I haven’t quite reached the ‘meditating-stage’ yet, because I’m trying to juggle two full-time degree programmes and therefore still have exams until the end of July. However, sometime at 3 in the morning, after my tenth cup of coffee, hunched over a text called Radikaler Konstruktivismus und Social Constructivism, sozialpsychologische Folgen und die empirische Rekonstruktion eines Gespenstes and having no idea what it is about, I already did have visions of all the things I’m going to do differently next time . . . and of me hunting down the author of this text and demanding an explanation about what I ever did to him and why he is torturing me so. Deep in the night I came up with my top three resolutions for next semester.

#1 Fool me once, shame on you . . .
The biggest problems I have to face – like usual – are the ones I create myself. One of them is that I tend to take too many courses. I know that we can decide for ourselves just how many classes we think we can handle in one semester, but I still blame PLUSonline. It always reminds me of shopping at Amazon. You always seem to pick up one or two items you had NO intention of buying. PLUSonline is the same for me. I always end up adding more courses to the cart a.k.a. the timetable that I had initially planned. Oh, how I see myself sitting in front of the computer, shiny and new after a long break, excited that I’m going to be so studious this semester.
So why don’t I drop some courses then? Well, similar to Amazon, PLUSonline only offers a two weeks ‘return and refund policy’ for most classes. After that you have to stick with them to the bitter end . . . which is the end of semester – now. If you drop out after that, you fail the course and I don’t necessarily want that on my record.
I will definitely try and hold back a bit next semester even though I know it probably won’t work. A typical New Year’s Eve resolution one might say.

#2 Same ol’ same ol’
Sleep is another thing I have to approach differently next semester. It’s just not possible to always be tired, and getting up in the morning is a daily battle for me. I know everyone has this problem and I already tried out the usual suspects – another ten minutes, setting the alarm an hour early and so on – but nothing worked. I blame my bed on this one. We definitely are what nowadays the cool kids call ‘frenemies’.
A friend of mine is studying psychology and she told me that apparently I’m what they call a ‘visual learner’, so I should simply buy bed sheets with prints of something that freaks me out. I’m not sure how serious she was – beer and other alcoholic beverages were involved – but I started thinking about it nonetheless. The only thing I came up with is that I used to find The Kelly Family rather scary back in the days. However, I’m not sure how that would look like whenever I have friends over. Anyways, I will think about that one over the summer break.
Another friend of mine suggested changing my eating habits and this led me to my next end-of-semester resolution.

#3 Food
The first thing my brother told me when he started to study in Salzburg was, “Keron, food is going to be a problem”. He was right.
There is nothing I loathe more than cooking. My usual diet consists of two things: pizza and “Leberkässemmel”. Maybe this is the source of my apparent lack of energy. I didn’t check, but I guess the 1,5 liters of cola that usually go along with my meal don’t contain that many vitamins.
When I was still living at home I always was fed properly. We had someone to do the cooking for us and every carefully balanced meal came with a salad. I assume my body wants something like that again, so I will definitely brush up on my non-existent cooking skills. Today I even ate an apple. One step at a time.

These are my top three resolutions for next semester. Now it’s your time to let me know what you plan to change.

Mind in the Gutter

The end of the 2010 Summer Semester is finally here. Well, it’s almost here. I am one exam away from finally being able to yell out of my third-story apartment window, “I’M FREEEEE! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I’M FREE AT LAST!”

It’s been a pretty strenuous semester for me to say the least. I’m one of those people who are constantly on the move and rarely in one place for long. I thoroughly enjoyed most of my courses and can say that I have learned a lot.

I am one of those people that give their all until the very end of a term and has little time to actually think about what they are doing and where all of the information they’re taking in. Stress mode is on “high” and it’s very hard to even think about relaxing when that’s all I really want to do but can’t. For me sleepless nights with lots of writing and studying mean a lot of crying and complaining.

If I was asked how I kept my mind clear, I would have to say that I have absolutely no idea! I know that people with really good time management and organizational skills have some tricks up their sleeves and breeze through the end of the semester with all of their exams and when it’s over smile and jump head first into the summer. So one would have to ask them, not me.

I, on the other hand, do not know how to get through a semester with a clear mind at the end of it. Honestly, I don’t think I ever finished a semester at school so far where I haven’t been completely stressed out or on the verge of a burn out. When I finish my last exam I either go out for a celebratory drink before going home, or I head directly home and fall straight into bed for a good 12-16 hour sleep. The next day, the “technical” first day of summer, is spent in bed, and not outdoors in the sun or somewhere on a beach or in a pool. No, no, I sleep, because after all of my exams my brain tends to go into hibernation mode, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I know I am not someone with the best time management and organizational skills, and that is not necessarily something I am proud of. It doesn’t always work for me, but it works most of the time. Every new semester I try to strengthen my weak spots (organization and time management) but I think it’s more of a trial and error thing due to my personality. Sure, maybe that is an excuse, but I think it is a valid one. I like taking on a big course load and learning a lot of different things. If that means that I am super stressed out at the end of the semester, so be it.

My mind is literally in the gutter. (This can mean a few different things, and yes at times most of it rings true for me as well). Recently, I have had a few conversations with friends about various topics related to courses that I am taking at the university and out of the blue my brain stops working and I give my friends a deer in headlight look and stop talking mid-sentence. (It’s worth the laugh really! My friends start laughing at me because they understand what’s going on, and instead of getting upset I laugh with them.)

For me, being stressed out at the end of the semester is a part of being a student at a university. The stress, the sleepless nights— it is all a part of the learning experience. Some people learn time management and organizational skills faster than others, and others take a little longer, some actually want to change their skills and others don’t.

A few days ago, in the midst of all of my studying stress, I took about an hour of my valuable time to really think about what I would say to someone if I had to give them a 10 step ‘how to’ in regards to having a clear mind at the end of the semester, and this is what I would say:

How to keep a clear mind at the end of a semester:

1. If you need to give any presentations in a course, make sure you get them done and over with at the very beginning of a semester! Do not wait until the end when you’re already stressed out and studying for exams.
2. If you have a paper to write, get it done right away. Even if you have two weeks to work on it! Get it done as soon as possible. (A bonus might be that you can look over the paper with your teacher/professor and make corrections before it’s due.)
3. Get to know your peers, if you ever have a question that you can’t ask your professor, it’s always best to be on a first name basis with the people sitting in the classroom with you. Plus, if they like you, they might even lend you their notes!
4. Stay organized. A rule of thumb my mom always told me was that if there’s something that you can do in five minutes do it right away and don’t save it until later. (It only takes five minutes!)
5. Eat healthy and exercise- a healthy body means a clear mind (so I’ve been told).
6. If you are having trouble with any courses go and talk to your teachers and see if they can help you understand whatever it is you’re having trouble with (I promise, they don’t bite!)
7. When its time to start studying for exams, create a studying schedule. That way it might be less easy to procrastinate.
8. Make sure to have fun outside of school. A good balance between work and play is always important!
9. Make sure to get enough sleep!!! If you have trouble sleeping and are a borderline insomniac like myself, then be sure to fit a few naps into your schedule, or take at least five minutes to close your eyes and just rest.
10. Do what works best for you!

It might be time for me to take my own advice.

TTFN

The King of All Tournaments (The End)

End Result:

On the 6^th and 7^th of July the semi-finals of the FIFA World Cup took place. The Netherlands beat Uruguay 3-2 with goals scored by Forlan and M. Pereira for Uruguay and Van Bronckhorst, Sneijder, and Robben for the Netherlands. Spain beat Germany 1-0 with goal scored by Spanish player Puyol in the 73^rd minute. The German team played Uruguay to see who would take over third place on the 10^th of July and beat Uruguay in a very lively game with a final score of 3-2. On July 11^th, at the Soccer City Stadium in Johannesburg, Spain beat the Netherlands 1-0 and marked the end of the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa.

It is one thing to observe the FIFA World Cup games, place bets on the outcomes of the matches, and support your favorite team(s), but the feeling(s) one has after a World Cup tournament has come to an end is something entirely different. It’s been my experience that my feelings I after a World Cup tournament are indescribable. I, for one, feel a kind of happiness and thankfulness that I cannot put into words, all I can say is football is my sport. Football is your sport, (even if you don’t think it is), because at the end of the day football is the world’s sport.

Quick thanks:

I would like to write my own quick personal thank you to everyone who made my FIFA World Cup experience what it was. Thank you to my family, my friends, my professors (they’re the ones who put up with my constant World Cup babble!) to FIFA, the players and coaches, etc… and thank you to the readers of this blog. One last thing I would like to reiterate: I realize that not everyone does or will share my love for football and that is fine, but it is one of the great wonders of this world, and that cannot be denied.

TTFN

You know you studied in Salzburg when...

Most of my friends from Luxemburg don’t really understand why I chose to leave my native country behind and stay in Salzburg for the complete 4 years of my studies. Of course, I always try to explain my choice but studying in Salzburg is a very diverse experience. It’s very hard to summarize in a couple of words but it gave me the idea for this post.

I know that I already blogged about The Urge to leave Salzburg but that post was written in a test situation. The thing is that students love to complain about Salzburg (and Austria in general) and about whatever we dislike about the city or the country. But if you are looking for serious complaining then you’re in the wrong place. I’m warning you because I will try to make this a bit humorous because I often find myself complaining about the most random things to the greatest amusement of my friends.

However, Salzburg is my adopted home for the time being and as bad as I make things out to be from time to time, I am still here and planning on hanging on until I have my degree. Still, Salzburg has left its marks on me and since these posts have something to do with student life I thought it would be nice to write about the one thing that links all the UNI.son bloggers: studying in Salzburg. Therefore, I’ve compiled a list of five scenarios, which might or might not seem familiar to some of you.

You know you studied in Salzburg, when….

First: … you aren’t surprised when you find no one in the streets on weekdays after 9pm. The city is quite literally deserted because all the tourists are either having dinner or will have turned in for the night to be rested for the next day. The only exception is Wednesday because then it’s time for the very well-known ‘Studentenmittwoch’ (in German). Many pubs and clubs such as Segabar, Vis-à-Vis, O’Malley’s, Shamrock and Roses have so-called ‘special offers’, obviously not at all intended to make people as drunk as possible as quickly as possible. But what they call ‘special offers’ are still pretty expensive for students on a budget and only very few people I know can actually afford to take advantage of ‘Studentenmittwoch’ every week.

Second: … you’re starving on a Sunday because all the supermarkets are closed and you forgot to buy groceries on Saturday before 5 PM. As embarrassing as it is, I have to admit that this has happened to me a couple of times. You’d think that people learn from their mistakes because once you’re in that situation you have 2 options left: walk or bike to the next gas station and buy ridiculously expensive stuff to tide you over or ask other people from your dorm to lend you food. If you don’t live in a dorm, you obviously have a problem and have to be ready to shell out a lot of money for not a lot of food.

Third: … you don’t dare to drink any other beer than Stiegl. This is very true and I’m not even a beer-drinking person. I simply don’t like the taste so I try to steer clear of it as much as I can. The thing is that beer is probably the cheapest alcohol around and when you’re at parties or get-togethers, beer is often the only thing you get. Don’t even think about asking for another brand when you are handed a bottle of Stiegl. Just don’t. The looks you will get will make the beer taste even worse and if ask for a cocktail, you will be branded as a snob. Believe me, that’s just the way things are in Salzburg and I am speaking from experience!

Forth: … you start to hate the Germans, too. (Just kidding!) This is not only about Salzburg but more about Austria at large: the general ‘dislike’ for Germans. Maybe it’s not exactly politically correct to address this, but I find it funny how Austrians don’t like Germans very much. However, at the same time most people constantly watch German TV, read German newspapers, listen to German music and know more about what's going on in Germany than in their home country. Obviously, with German being the mother tongue in Austria, there is no real way of getting around that but if you have never heard an Austrian complaining about German students taking away university places, you are one hell of a lucky man! As clichéd as it is, I have heard these complaints more often than I can count. And don’t even try to tell me you don’t know what I am talking about.

Fifth: … nothing on a price tag shocks you anymore! I am used to elevated prices from back home, Luxemburg being one of the richest countries in the world and all that, but at least income is proportionally matched to general living expenses. In Salzburg? Not so much! I am okay with paying € 9.90 for a Long Island Iced Tea but € 13.50 is pushing it! And just in case you’re wondering about where to get the cheaper and better cocktails: Pepe’s Cocktail Bar is the place to be!

These are only some of the pearls of wisdom I have acquired after having studied in the lovely city of Mozart for 5 semesters. I’ve had fun times, stressful times and everything in between. We’ll see what the future brings and if want to add something to my list, feel free to comment.

Yours truly,

Michelle

Hasta La Vista, University

What are you going to do when you graduate? Everybody gets asked this question. And I am annoyed by it more often than not. But in fact, it is a good question, a question worth thinking of as the end of my studies is in sight. I will definitely not become a teacher who has to deal with nerve-racking children every day. And I will definitely not become an office clerk who has to sit in front of the computer for eight hours a day. Not everybody is naturally gifted with the patience to teach annoyingly rebellious teenagers. Not everybody is naturally gifted with the ability to look at a screen for hours (I easily lose my nerves when the computer doesn’t do the things I want it to do).

So what am I going to do then? When I was watching TV the other day (no, not the Soccer World Cup), I realized how fascinated I am by the movie industry. Not only because watching TV is one of my favorite activities. I am very interested in how this gigantic industry works, how movies are produced and what is involved in it. While I was watching The Simpsons, I was wondering which words were used in the original English version. Because of course in German and many other European languages every foreign-language movie has to undergo the complicated process of dubbing. Finding the right words in each language is a highly elaborate and fascinating task. So maybe one day I’ll be one of those famous German voices of English movie stars. One of the voices you immediately recognize when you hear them. If you want to argue that this isn’t a job that will change the world, please read on (believe it or not, even Arnold Schwarzenegger has a German voice actor).

You have to agree that there are movie lines that have made lots of movies unforgettable. You immediately know which film it is when you hear the lines. Famous movie lines that come into my mind right away are: “Beam me up, Scotty” (Star Trek), “Here’s looking at you, kid” (Casablanca), “Luke, I am your father” (Star Wars), “My name is Bond, James Bond” (James Bond) and “Run, Forrest! Run!” (Forrest Gump). And I could go on for pages. Even without being an actor, you can be in such famous movies – as a voice actor. Manfred Lehmann, for example, might not be a familiar name to you, but you immediately identify him when you hear his voice. His rough, masculin voice is perfect for the movie quote that became so popular: “Yippie yah yei, Schweinebacke”. I guess this saying became even more popular than Arnie’s “I’ll be back”. In case you don’t know who I’m talking about, I’m talking of the voice actor of Bruce Willis in Die Hard. I am sure that if you know several Bruce Willis movies, you recognize his German voice everywhere because it is so concise. And in case a different dubber is used, you are irritated and want to hear Lehmann’s voice.

I really like Bruce Willis and his movies (yes, even his action movies) because he’s a great actor. But in my opinion the voice plays as important a part other as the acting performance. Because the voice is one of the most distinguishing features of a person. In addition to recognizing a person by their face, you recognize a person by their voice. Even though I like watching movies in English now, I started out watching movies in German. Even though I like knowing the original voices of American and British actors, I first got accustomed to their German dubbing voices. It is important to find dubbing voices that match the actors and their parts. I dislike it when a dubbing voice doesn’t fit the character and thus destroys his authenticity. Just imagine the negative effects it would have if a well-built action hero like John McClane (alias Bruce Willis in Die Hard) had the same voice as SpongeBob. The same goes for the striking appearance of another well-known actor – Bud Spencer. His German voice in movies like Banana Joe or They Call Me Trinity is unforgettable. It is the incredibly low voice of Wolfgang Hess. The lowest I’ve ever heard. Such a voice adds authenticity to the performance of somebody like Bud Spencer and goes perfectly with the colossal tough guys Bud Spencer portrays.

These voices show that it is possible to make a significant contribution to the world with dubbing movies. Sooner or later I might visit you in your living room as the voice of a movie star. Not in the form of Bruce Willis, obviously. But maybe in the form of his daughters or other up-and-coming actresses, becoming part of the never-ending movie industry.


The End

Or as Arnie would say
“Hasta La Vista, Baby”

Personal Musings

In many of my previous blog posts I wrote about university and how to find one’s way through it. In them I reflected on my personal experience with studying. I think that studying is much better than going to school. I am much more independent now than I was at school; I can select the courses I want to do myself; and I don’t have to attend university every day. But most importantly, I’ve been able to acquire a sound knowledge in various fields. In my English studies I learned, among other things, how to do professional research, how to write an academic paper, how to communicate in English and how to interpret linguistic signs, prose and poetry. In Sociology I learned how to carry out observations and studies, how to analyze data and how to interpret the behavior of people in our society.

I guess that’s quite a lot for four years of studying. Not to forget the practical experience I was able to collect. Carrying out two surveys in the course of two university classes I took part in designing the questionnaire, interviewing the people and interpreting the data. I saw how complex this task is because of the amount of time and the detailed planning involved in it. In sociology, I also had to do a five-week internship. I worked at a flat-sharing community for teenagers who need social-pedagogical care because they come from more or less broken homes, where I saw how important it is to have an intact home with caring parents in order to develop healthy social skills. And how important it is to have these kinds of care centers for those who don’t have intact homes.

In addition to this sociological experience my English studies allowed me to come into contact with the world of employment. Working as a tourist guide at a sightseeing company for more than a year I went on sightseeing tours with tourists by car. I showed them the most interesting places in Salzburg (yes, I had to drive the car and explain the sights to the tourists at the same time – thanks to multitasking). I gave several tours in German and even one tour in French. And I was glad that I had to do it only once because I am not fluent enough in French to manage driving and explaining at the same time. But most of the time the tours were in English, which helped me practice my conversation skills. I came across people from all possible English-speaking countries. Being able to meet so many different people was what made this job so great, that and the regular income each month. Since I stopped working as a tourist guide, I give private English lessons to children from time to time. This is not exactly steady money, but as a student I appreciate any chance to improve my financial situation.

The monetary aspect is one of the negative sides of studying. I don’t have a regular income like someone who starts working immediately after school. I also lack several years of actual working experience. And this working experience is a requirement in almost every job advertisement. A potential employee needs to speak several languages, have social competence AND be experienced in working in the respective area for at least three years. These are typical requirements for most jobs of today. Doesn’t sound that easy. Especially without the experience.

However, I have been attending some form of school for 17 years now, and that’s the reason why I am looking forward to finding a new occupation. I am looking forward to finding my first permanent job and earning my living on my own. And I am looking forward to becoming independent from my parents and my irregular summer jobs. I am also very curious about which job I’ll be doing and where I’ll be doing it. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve really enjoyed studying at university. But now I feel the urge to do something new and to apply my knowledge to being independent and fulfilling myself.

University Life: The end is in sight!

This post is going to be a little different than my other posts about university life. I am not going to offer advice how to find your way through university. But I am going to talk about my own recent experience at university. I know by now that studying can be more challenging and stressful than many people think. But all those challenges are nothing compared to the difficult job I am facing at the moment. I am about to finish off my studies in Sociology. This means that I am writing my final bachelor paper now. This paper is the first step in getting a university degree. The second required part for a degree in Sociology is the final oral examination you take after finishing the paper. But putting together this paper is the truly nerve-racking part of studying.

First of all, I needed to select a seminar course to write my paper in. Ideally, it should be a field of sociology that interests me. But this wasn’t the biggest problem because I didn’t have many choices. I attended two seminars this term which qualify for writing a bachelor paper in: Sociology of Fashion and Sociology of Crime. The first subject doesn’t interest me that much. But luckily, the second does.

The second challenge was to select a topic for the paper. In my case the professor handed out a list of 30 possible topics – one topic for each seminar participant. The problem in the first lesson of this seminar was that the professor read out the topics one by one. And he assigned each topic to the pupil who screamed the loudest or called attention to herself the fastest. And that wasn’t me. So I was left without any of my preferred subjects. Eventually, only three topics were left, so I had to take one of those. At first, I was totally unsatisfied with my topic because it was a domain I had never heard about before. Then I started reading some texts and books about it and my initial dissatisfaction vanished.

The next problem I am facing is that I haven’t had much time to work on the bachelor paper up to now – and it’s supposed to run 30 to 40 pages. In addition to the seminar on Criminal Sociology, I have four other courses. And some of them are pretty time-consuming. Two courses require a lot of reading and online researching, the other two a lot of writing. I had to hand in a 20-page paper this week. This is to say that I have had to invest more time in these courses than expected and that I am lagging behind with my actual assignment – finishing my bachelor paper. Anyway! There are still two months left to work on the paper. So I am optimistic that I will work my way through this challenge successfully.

After I finish my paper and the professor grades it, then the second part of the bachelor’s degree awaits me. The oral examination. But having an easy time learning for tests, I won’t be challenged that much by this exam. The only real challenge is that this examination requires a lot of careful administrative preparation. Concerning the examiners. Concerning the exam subjects. This means that I first of all have to take care of the date on my own. Of course, the professor who graded my paper will be one examiner. But I also have to decide on another professor who will examine me in a second subject of my choice. And I have to look for a professor to chair the whole assessment. So the most crucial factors for getting my bachelor’s degree really depend on my organizational abilities. But luckily, I am an optimistic person.

A Retrospective Survival Guide for the Regular Student

This post will be written under slightly different circumstances than my previous post, since this is my end of term test in ‘Blogging’, which I like to refer to as ‘Blogging under Pressure’. I’ve written about lots of different issues which were linked to student life somehow and since the semester’s almost over (today is my last day and this is my last exam) I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to pass on some tips and tricks which might make up-coming semester(s) easier to survive.

Tip No.1: Pay special attention during the first session of every course. Even more so when you have a class with a professor you’ve never had before. Since you don’t know the professor in question you likely also won’t know to what he or she pays special attention to. All the notes you take during that first session will help you a lot, and I often find myself going back to these notes. More often than not those notes will be the most detailed and helpful when it comes to handing in papers and written assignments, because every professor is different and focuses her attention on different things.

Tip No. 2: Attend as many sessions as you can if you have lots of lectures. This fortunately hasn’t been the case for me this semester but I thought it would still be a good point for other students that might stumble across this post. The thing is that lectures (VOs - Vorlesungen) tend to be tough because you mostly only sit there for an hour and a half while the professor goes on and on about a particular topic. Some lectures can be really interesting but everyone has a bad day every once in a while and just can’t be bothered to make his way to university for ‘just one lecture’. After all you can read the scripted course notes at home anyway since they can be found online on Blackboard. WRONG! Believe me when I say that you will probably never ever read or even look at these particular course notes until two or three days before the exam. I know how that sounds but I am a student and I know my kind. So, if you want to make your life a lot easier, try to attend class as often as you can. Otherwise you’ll probably want to kill yourself towards the end of the semester when you have to catch up on a year’s worth of course materials in four different lectures within a week or two. It won’t end well for you or your grades.

Tip No. 3: Start early enough with your research when it comes to writing papers. I know how these things usually go: you think you have it all under control and have a rough idea of what you’re going to write. That’s all well and good but if you are in your later semesters you professors expect more than eight to ten pages per paper. I am in my fifth semester now and I had to hand in two papers: one around 20,000 characters with spacing and the other one around 4000 words, which is almost the same length. But it translates into twelve or thirteen written pages, so a ‘rough idea’ about your topic isn’t going to cut it, believe me! I am quite proud of myself for how well I organized things this time around and the so-called ‘key to success’ lies in early research. I spent lots of time in the library about a month before starting to write an outline because the better you are prepared, the better and easier the writing process will be. Of course you could also end up doing too much research, in which case you end up swamped with information and not having a clue about how to process it all. But so far that hasn’t happened and probably never will.

Tip No. 4: Another important thing not to forget are your friends. ‘Social obligations’ might not seem very important in the grand scheme of things but turning into a hermit is not the way to go about things either! Make sure you have enough time to complete your assignments but also make time for your friends; they will thank you dearly. After all, if you only emerge every once in a while from your ‘cave’, that doesn’t do you any good either. Set a clear schedule with time for university and time for friends, so they balance each other out. More often than not you will return to your desk reinvigorated and full of inspiration because you took the time not to think about university for a moment. Your friends will help you keep your mind off things and share the latest news and gossip form your dorm. It’s a win/win situation.

Tip No. 5: During midterm and finals week, sustenance is the key word! You will probably laugh now and haughtily shake your head because really, who has ever heard of a student starving to death! As I already said, I have lived through and survived enough semesters now to know what I am talking about when I say that food is important. The thing is that we probably mean different things when I say ‘food’. Obviously I mean regular meals. What I don’t mean is eating pizza every day because you don’t have time or just can’t be bothered to stand at the stove for half an hour. Midterms and finals can be stressful but if you don’t keep up your strength by eating at least semi-healthy foods, you will be exhausted before you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Check out rockelfe’s post ‘A Tasty Insight’ for some tips and tricks about cooking that don’t rely on pizza from Hofer or their tomato sauce, which goes perfectly well with spaghetti... but contains neither vitamins nor minerals which you need to keep going during finals week.

Tip No. 6: Sleep! I know that most students think that trivial matters such as food and sleep are overrated, but they’re not! You can party the night away if you want, just don’t do it more often than you can handle. While it’s great fun, the lack of sleep will catch up with you eventually, and that happens most often during midterms… All the parties take place at the beginning of the semester to get things off to a fun start. So once they’re all over (and you’ve attended 95% of them), midterms will be right around the corner and then, things aren’t going to be pretty. To sum it up: hit the clubs but not too hard so it won’t affect your course work and participation.

I hope these tips and tricks will be helpful to some of you. But don’t forget: have fun during your time as a student and enjoy it as much as you can!

Yours truly,
Michelle

"Excuse Me, Do You Speak English?"

“Yes of course, everyone does.”

Everyone, right? Well, I guess that’s the problem we’re facing right now in this globalized and Americanized world. Everyone thinks he can speak English and tries his best to do so. But let me tell you something, there are mile between knowing a language and being able to speak it. Yes, there is more to a language than being able to say “yes, no, si, non, нет, да, ja, nein.” So what’s the point, you might ask. Well, let me show you.

The thing about studying foreign languages is that you cannot get away with just memorizing some words and rules. (Believe me, I tried that with Russian.) In order to a speak a language properly the thing you need most is time and patience. And patience is usually not widespread among Austrian Society. But I’m digressing here.

It’s a fact that the Austrian school system starts children’s English education as soon as they are out of their diapers. From first grade in children are confronted with the basics of English vocabulary, syntax and grammar, although some skeptics might argue that the real English instruction doesn’t start until fifth grade. Anyway, what I am trying to get across is that Austria prepares its citizens very well to compete in this globalized English-speaking world.

Already a long time ago we Austrians (and Germans; I can’t deny the fact that we speak the same mother tongue) have realized that English is the new German. This great acceptance of the English language has created a mutilated form of German which some people call “Germish” or “Denglish.” I call it “Pseudo English.” The intermingling of elements of German and English has contributed to grammatical as well as syntactical confusion in both languages, especially for language learners. On Wikipedia it’s argued that “due to [the] lack of rules for proper declension and conjugation forms, English words […] will almost always come out in some twisted form.” So true. If you are interested in the outcome of such interminglings check out the Wise Guys song “Denglish.”

Once a foreign word has found its way into a languages it puts down its devastating roots and spreads over both languages – the attacking language and the attacked. Scientists are warning that Europe is in danger of loosing its variety of languages. Further, they describe a phenomenon which they call BSE (no, not the cow disease) – Bad Simple English.

Take the case of Austrian Broadcasting (ORF): During the 2009 Olympic Games in Vancouver, for example, the Austrian TV audience was shocked by how bad the ORF sport hosts dealt with their English interviews. It was embarrassing to listen to their attempts at broken English. No wonder that we are not able to speak the language properly, when not even the people responsible for the so-called educational programming on TV are able to find qualified people.

So let me come back to the aim of this post. It’s really not necessary for everyone to be able to speak English. Just put the right people into the right positions to protect all the languages from their ruinous influences on each other. That is why I would argue that the world needs more people with English, German, French, Russian or any other language degrees.

If you want to sing out, sing out…

… and if you want to be free, be free. Cause there’s a million things to be. (Cat Stevens)

I’ve always liked this song and I try to live by it, more or less. My mom also kept telling me kind of the same things (in her own words, of course) when I was growing up. So maybe that’s where this weird obsession with wanting to change the world and make it a better place comes from. The wish to make the world a better place surfaced pretty early in my childhood after reading some eye-opening books about environmental destruction. Now before completely weirding everyone out, I have to say that I grew up in the countryside, partly on a farm (and proud of it!), so I’ve always felt a strong connection to the environment. At a later point in my life, when I wanted to take action, I bought the book How to Make the World a Better Place. Honestly, this book wasn’t as helpful as its title might suggest. Still, no harm in trying, or better yet, reading.

I realized quickly that a solid education would be fundamental in order to achieve my, uhm, humble goal. Because as we all know, knowledge is power. After putting a lot of thought into what to study, and a gap year after high school which I partly spent in Costa Rica, I realized that the best course of action would be to study Ecology and English at the University of Salzburg. The wish to change the world (and two months living in the rain forest) led me to Ecology and my addiction to books (don’t we all have a little substance abuse problem?) and my love for the English language led me to English. 

Now how should you use your knowledge to change the world? In order to give this all a proper structure, here are the steps I intend to follow to achieve my goal:

 

Step 1: Attend university. Check.

Choosing the right field of study is an important first step. However, I think it is equally important to make the best out of one’s options and this includes choosing classes according to one’s interest. I succeeded pretty well in doing so this semester. My classes included learning how to blog (properly), and my crazy-long reading list covered everything from Henry James to Cecilia Ahern (believe me, there is a connection) and from Zoë Wicomb to Rudolfo Anaya. Just covering all the bases.

 

Step 2: Apply for a study abroad program. Check.

The painful application process has been explained thoroughly in my last few blog posts. They range from how to get started, listing the necessary application documents, explaining in more detail how to write a good letter of purpose and how to survive the TOEFL. The result of this struggle will be revealed in my next and final blog post.

 

Step 3: Get my degree(s). I’m on the road to getting my degrees at the moment. What I plan on doing with my degree will be explained in the next two steps.

 

Step 4: Write a book like T.C. Boyle’s A Friend of the Earth. Only my book is not only going to be dystopian, it is going to be sadly more realistic at the point of writing it. So you can see that on the road to achieving my ultimate goal I kind of also plan on becoming the next Jack(ie) Kerouac. I only want to change the story slightly to one without the substance abuse problems – still love his book, though, and dread the movie.

 

Step 5: After writing a couple of international bestsellers and becoming an internationally recognized writer/ecologist, I will use my knowledge and fame to appeal to people’s ecological consciousness and, at the same time, try to combine this with love for literature. And I know that those darn books kill our trees. As a reward for my hard work and effort to make the world a better place, I hope I will receive the Nobel Peace Prize or a Nobel Prize in Literature. I am fine with either one of them, really. 

But this is not all. Even if you have not taken my previous points seriously (which you actually should, at least partially), I do think it will become increasingly important to raise awareness for, and to promote interdisciplinary studies.

It should be clear by now that my schedule for the next decade is going to be pretty busy. On the bright side, I am finally able to answer the ever-annoying question of „Where do you see yourself in ten years?“ And if all of my best-laid plans should not work out, I’ll just become a yoga instructor in Panama.

Yours truly,

Lemon