Mooching

As promised, I want to share some things with you, my dear readers, that will make your life as students easier. Or at least it will show you how I deal with or have dealt with certain "obstacles" in my academic career.

Today’s topic is mooching and, no, I will not be talking about how to get free cigarettes or sweets. I want to share with you the secret of how to get notes for lectures you didn’t attend. I know, I know. We all had the highest of principles after having finished high school. Now as students, we surely will never cheat (again), never copy homework of others (again) because now, after all, we are really studying for our future. That’s nice and all but there are times, dark times indeed, when you simply have to put those principles aside momentarily in order to succeed.

The biggest problem we students face is having good notes to study from for a final exam. Certainly we all plan to attend every single session of every lecture every single time. Unfortunately, there are times when this really isn’t up to us and it always seems to be even harder to stay true to this resolution when it comes to lectures without mandatory attendance.
No, I’m not talking about your best friend’s birthday party you absolutely had to attend and the hangover the next day that prevented you from even hearing the alarm go off (it happenes, trust me). I also don’t mean those days when your bed just seems too lonely to be left alone and absolutely needs your company for another few hours (we all know how fickle they can be).
Sometimes you are "overbooked" and have more than one lecture taking place at the same time. Or maybe you got sick (alcohol poisoning does not count as a sickness, though). Sometimes you simply haven’t got the time to go because of all the unfinished homework piling up. Obviously, if your friends attend the lecture, life is good and you don’t have a problem. However, very often they will have been your partners in crime, so to speak, so you won’t be able to rely on them. Now, of course, you can also send out e-mails in the hope that a kind stranger might send you his notes. But in all fairness, how often have you actually responded to one of those e-mails? Exactly.
Here is where my plan comes into play and it has a success rate of about 98%. (Yes, I made that number up). Whether you want the notes for an entire course or just from the one or two sessions that you have missed, just make sure to arrive a little bit early next time and pick out one of the older students. Mind you, I don’t mean career students, the ones that were already here when your older brother graduated and will probably never get a degree because they just love hanging out at the university. Literally. Pick out the oldest student taking the course. They usually attend lectures because they are bored or because they are interested in a certain subject. Some are also there to get additional credentials in order to get ahead in their careers. Either way, they usually take this "university stuff" really seriously (just like I do, if you ever doubted that). This means they have excellent notes you can rely on and write down everything in full detail without using home-made abbreviations.

But how to get these notes? Personally, I like to go for the ladies because I find older men a little bit grouchy at times. (Yes, grandpa, I know you are reading this too and no, I’m not talking about you). It could also very well be one of those opposite-sex kinds of things, though. Girls might find it easier to charm older men than women. Anyway, now it’s time to show off your small-talk skills. (You might want to practise them in advance). The ultimate goal is to have them offer their notes to you without actually having to ask.
You start out by talking about basic stuff. How do they like the course? The professor? Then go on and ask them about why they are here and what they are studying. The older they are the more they like to talk, but just let them.
Then it’s time to "move in for the kill". You tell them that you couldn’t attend the lecture up until now (or that you missed once or twice) because you had to work or because you usually have another course at this time. It’s important to not go overboard and exaggerate. This is what we refer to (or at least I do) as "a little white lie". Just try to stick closely to the truth. Finish your "fairytale" with something like "but I’m sure the literature/ reader will be enough to get me through the final exam". Depending on your small-talk skills, how likeable you are in general and especially how pitiful you came across uttering this last sentence, they usually then offer their notes out of sympathy. If they don’t, excuse yourself to get a coffee (don’t be stingy and treat them to one too) and then ask them directly and offer your notes for other courses in return, even if you don’t have any. They will never ask, trust me.

Some people just don’t know how to handle older people. I guess working as a paramedic for the Red Cross and driving around grandmas/ granddads all day long has taught me at least one thing.
Anyway, another target group are freshmen. Don’t worry, normally they are easy enough to spot. You simply have to impress them with your worldliness and experience and give them some advice on courses and professors. After that, they usually feel obliged to give you something in return. In that case, settle for the notes and don’t go asking for phone numbers.

If you have more victims to choose from, pick the ones with a laptop. Very often they are more "enthusiastic" than their peers when it comes to their studies. They can email you the notes right away and you also don’t have to waste time deciphering someone else’s scrawl.
Just make sure it’s not the professor’s secretary, his wife/ her husband or the tutor you are trying to get notes from, because that could get very awkward.

Truth be told, I did not come up with this by myself. Sadly, I’m usually the one who gets preyed upon for notes. Um, I wonder why that is? I don’t have a laptop and I’m definitely not a freshman. Anyway, my older brother is actually the one who passed this along to me when I started studying in Salzburg and I have tried it out once *cough* or twice *cough*. It works.