My family and me

I don’t know how you see it, but the longer I live on my own the harder it gets to spend more than two days with my family - without freaking out, that is. It’s not that we don’t get along or anything, but all that talking, sharing and constantly being around people who know you best and don’t hesitate to offer unsolicited advice, can only be endured for so long.
When I’m in Salzburg I’m essentially a grown-up, my own person, and I do whatever I want. However, the moment I get back home I feel like I have to be a kid again.

The thing about family disasters is that you never have to wait long before the next one puts the previous one into perspective. ~Robert Brault

I guess it also depends on the kind of family you grew up in. In my case, it’s Italian. When we think of the typical Italian family, we usually think big, loud and crazy. Italians love family gatherings and they are constantly in each other's business. Unfortunately, this is true.
My father, sister and I usually stick out like a sore thumb. It seems we are the only ones that somehow “dodged” the Italian gene altogether.

Every year the entire family on my father’s side (roughly 55 people) meet up around Whitsun in Cattolica, Italy. Some stay for only a couple of days, others for as long as a month. Anyway, we usually have three “joyful” days where everyone is here at the same time. Let me tell you, the hotel we are all staying at gets pretty crowded. The only piece and quiet I get is the time I spend in the bathroom and even that turns out to be a challenge with three siblings sharing one room. This year it was even worse, because for the first time it rained all the freakin’ time. Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide.

When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.
~George Bernard Shaw

But what do we do there? Well, basically we eat and drink, we drink and eat and then we eat and drink some more. Meanwhile everybody talks (some might say we bicker and argue, but that’s just the Italian temperament for you) at once, all the time. Valium is a must-have, although alcohol does the trick too.

Since Cattolica is one of those typical Italian tourist cities, the women spend most of their time shopping. I tagged along once – trying to escape my grandfather’s fascinating story about how he's managed to live so long and my grandma’s Rosamunde Pilcheresque tale about how she should have married someone entirely different, namely the most handsome man in town – but I soon regretted it. They get into this weird shopping frenzy and let me tell you they take no prisoners. It’s like a pack of wild animals rampaging through every shop in sight. On Saturdays there is a market, mainly for locals, where you can get special deals on clothes, shoes and what not. They get up at 7 in the morning and then spend about 7 to 8 hours scavenging and fighting for “special deals”. It’s actually fun to watch but you shouldn’t get in their way, though.

If minutes were kept of family gatherings, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same. ~Robert Brault

Obviously, it gets hard to keep up the appearance for such a long time. My sister, for instance, is a vegetarian, which would be a disaster if it came out. Well, not exactly a disaster, but everyone would try to convert her again and show her the right path. It’s easier and definitely less nerve-wracking to lie a little now and then. My brother, 26 years old, is a smoker and still has to hide that from everyone (sorry Chris, the secret’s out). He isn’t alone though. One third of the family are secret smokers. Usually the men hide it from the women. "A closed mouth catches no flies" as the Italians like to say.
Personally I find it hardest to avoid all the little kids. Just because I was always rather dedicated to my studies in high school and usually avoid getting into family arguments, most think I’m the perfect Kindergarten teacher. Well, the kids don’t and after an hour or two they usually remember from last year that I don’t play nice . It’s not that I’m mean on purose, but these kids nowadays have no manners. It definitely wasn’t like that when I was little. I’m fully aware of the irony here and that I sound like one of my older relatives, thank you very much.

You might say “well, it’s only once a year”, and you are absolutely right. We meet once a year in Italy before summer, but then again in Tyrol in November. Having the entire family stay in a little hotel out in the middle of nowhere is even worse, believe me. Also, let’s not forget the big birthday parties (I swear we have a decadal birthday twice a year), the barbecues, Sunday dinners and all the other lovely holiday celebrations.

All people are your relatives, therefore expect only trouble from them. ~Chinese proverb

Of course it’s not all bad, and I love my family, just in case you had any doubts. The reason why we work as a family is because we don’t take all the bickering and arguing too seriously. It’s all in good humor and I’m grateful for my family, this big social network spread all over Austria. Although we do have our fair share of problems, we still can always rely on each other. It’s just that it’s really hard sometimes to go from living alone to the insanity of being crammed into one place with people that have known you since you were little…..and love to tell the tale, too. There is nothing more “fun” than digging up old family stories and serving them up with a healthy dose of public humiliation in the private circle of your family. In ours everyone gets his/ her fair share.

Do you have a big family and can you understand what I’m talking about? Do the quotes apply to your family as well?