Dark Roasted

Everything around me was dark; I could only see a dim light banning its way through a thoroughly covered window at the other end of the room. It was gloomy around me and the monotonous voice coming from the darkest spot of the room had a great similarity to my favorite lullaby. In front of me I could see a bunch of letters and words which changed their positions on a big white screen at approximately 2-minute intervals. The person next to me was already in a whole nother world – at least it seemed so, because her head was smoothly placed on the table and her eyes were closed. I could also hardly keep my eyes open and I have never in my life experienced a greater need for a revitalizing coffee. (Cross my heart!)

Although the scenario described above bears a striking resemblance to George Orwell’s 1984, this is what students regularly experience when once again one of their fellow students tries his luck with a PowerPoint presentation (PPP). No offense, I totally get the fact, that not everyone is a born rhetorical genius, but at university level everyone should at least be able to deal with the basics of conducting a not all too boring presentation.

It begins in the 7^th or 8^th grade, when you’re asked to do a presentation for the very first time in your life. Usually this is in one of your scientific classes like Biology, or Geography (I did my first on dogs). At this point your teacher will most probably hand out a complete list of Dos and Don’ts on how to do a good presentation, like DON’T READ or DON’T STARE OFF INTO SPACE (if not try Presentations for Dummies). So why not simply stick to these rules? I just can’t listen to someone who never looks at me or seems to be reading out Hamlet’s soliloquy without any sense of intonation, never averting his eyes from the excessively long sheet of keywords in front of him. From secondary school onwards students prepare and give presentations on a regular basis. Most likely you will also have the privilege of taking part in at least 5 rhetorics seminars in your school days, where again and again (and again) people try to teach you how to speak in front of an audience. So the procedure shouldn’t be all that unfamiliar by the time you get to university.

The technological revolutions of the 20^th century haven’t really solved the problem of having to endure bad presentations – and they seem to have made them worse. Since PP has entered this world people often seem to rely on their virtual friend far too much. Not only do they hope to have their overloaded PPP speak for themselves, they also try to include every single function the tool offers into their presentation. Honestly, it isn’t necessary to have every point on a slide appear line by line, whirling in from different sides and afterwards fading away. It also gets kind of annoying to listen to someone who constantly has to click his mouse until all 10 points of information are finally on the screen. Although this gets really interesting when someone from the audience asks if he or she could see the previous slide again and the poor “clicker” at the speaker’s desk needs to click all the way back and forth once again. (Never tried it? - It’s definitely worth it.)

Another thing that makes me aggressive while listening to a presentation is when people try to spice up their PPPs with unnecessary clip art. I mean, take the case of the all too well known Microsoft Office classic (illustrated below):

Especially in companies where presenters often try to offer solutions to certain problems in their company they tend to include this particular piece of clip art in one of their slides as an attempt to represent pictorially the “aha experience” of their ideas coming to the rescue (seriously, not working). Students seem to walk right into the same trap. Admittedly, the little man with the pointing finger and the light bulb above his head looked kind of charming the first time I saw him, but I get embarrassed at the mere sight of him in a presentation. I can’t help it. It’s like Pavlovian conditioning. So whenever this appearance makes me start from my half-sleep, I seriously lose my nerve. The same goes for pre-made PP designs, although I regularly catch myself starting to use them too. It isn’t really a problem when you are the first presenter in a new semester, but after seeing PP slides with the same design three times in a row, it gets annoying.

So what’s the point of this blog post you might ask? Well. No, I can’t help you to become a better presenter, nor can I offer you an introduction course to the not yet entirely explored depths of PowerPoint. Still, there is one thing I would ask you to do (for my sake and that of your fellow students): the next time you confront us with one of your PPPs, just be so kind and go over your 7th-grade teacher’s list of Dos and Don’ts beforehand.