The Urge to leave Salzburg

When people think of Salzburg, my primary residence of choice while I am completing my studies, they have these pictures in mind.

The winter version of this picture would be the following:

There are many reasons why students come to Salzburg. Some don’t find the educational options in their home country or province adequate or they just want to take the first tentative steps towards independence. Others just want to leave home for no particular reason at all. The reason why I left Luxemburg, my home country, is the first one I listed. The University of Luxemburg was founded in 2003 and isn’t well established yet. I have the feeling that the degree in Salzburg will be more useful for my future plans. The degree I will end up having fits my needs so coming to Salzburg seemed like an obvious choice to me.

Even though Salzburg is my adoptive home, that doesn’t mean that I love the city unconditionally. There are times when the temptation to pack my bags and leave is very hard to resist. I’m also pretty sure that many students feel this way every once in a while and the reasons are probably wide and varied.

I often feel the need to leave mid-semester, which is either around end of April or end of November. I like to call this my ‘mid-semester depression’ and lots of factors accumulate around this time. First, I tend to miss my friends from home. It’s easy to say that nowadays a person is only a phone call away, but sometimes a phone call isn’t enough. And since I’ve lived in Luxemburg for the last 12 years, homesickness not only for the people but also for the country isn’t far off either. On the surface Salzburg and Luxemburg City (the capital) seem very similar because both places have a fortress but I have the feeling that Luxemburg is more cosmopolitan.

Of course you cannot forget to mention the factor ’University’ when talking about wanting to leave. When my ‘mid-semester depression’ hits, I usually feel over-worked and frustrated because midterms need to be taken care of. There is only so much cramming you can do and around the second week of mid-terms, frustration takes over and everything seems pointless. I’m aware that this sounds very negative but this is one of the instances when the urge to leave is most prominent and I can only speak for myself of course.

Now that I listed the reasons why people might want to leave Salzburg in the first place, you also have to be aware of the fact that only very few can actually leave on a whim. It’s a matter of financial means, and time constraints often put a hold on spontaneous plans for escape.

If you are in the same position as I am, you cannot just pack up and leave. This is why I have compiled a three-step program to lessen the urge and make staying in Salzburg bearable again.

First: don’t brood! Brooding might seem like the best course of action because you don’t want to come across as whiny or because you don’t want to burden your friends. In my opinion, that’s silly. Brooding and sulking about your situation will not improve it in any way, shape or form. On the contrary, you will make yourself feel worse, because if you will be keeping everything bottled up and letting it fester. Of course, I sound like a pseudo-psychologist now but I actually am speaking from personal experience so please bear with me. This first step also includes talking to the new friends you made in Salzburg. No one will laugh at you if you feel well and truly miserable. They will gladly lend you a shoulder to cry on and once you’ve broken out of the brooding mindset, things will improve steadily. I’m quite lucky to live in a dorm where we are a tight-knit community and support each other. If you don’t feel well, you’re never on your own, and after all the ‘strong and silent’ type has been out for a while now

Second: reconnect with your friends from home, even though they are far away. Modern communication technologies make staying in touch so very easy. If you aren’t in the mood to write long-winded e-mails or can’t afford huge phone bills, just post a little something on their wall on Facebook. Facebook, Twitter and MySpace have their definite advantages. It’s easy to simply comment on the status of a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. One more option would be MSN or Skype. If you throw a webcam into the mix you can actually have a face-to-face conversation of sorts and the feeling of loneliness and homesickness will slowly but surely dissipate.

Third, I recommend setting up a clear schedule. Even when you have midterms to prepare for and paper outlines to hand it, it’s important to still have time for social activities. This way you have’ll periods when you can relax a little and it’ll keep you from feeling swamped and overwhelmed.

If you follow these steps, you should be fine in the end, but most things are easier said than done. I know how easy it is to give into temptation and wallow in self-pity. After all, feeling sorry for yourself is definitely easier than taking matters into your own hands to change the situation for the better. Still, if you ever feel the urge to leave Salzburg again try to take into consideration what I mentioned. I sometimes have to resort to this three-step program myself, so these aren’t just empty words. Try to ride it out, let your friends help and things should improve in no time at all. And you’ll grow to appreciate Salzburg again for what it is: an interesting and sometimes even beautiful city.

Yours Truly,
Michelle

'Horror books' aka 'The genre we love to hate'

Since this will be my first post on my new blog I thought I might use my day off from the university to really get into this. But as you might have guessed already, at university, a day off very rarely is a day without work. My to-do list for the up-coming weekend is growing daily. However, I am not here to mope or anything.

What I actually wanted to write about today are books. Not just any kind, mind you, but I will get to that in a minute. I have several seminars this semester and for two of them I have to read several books. I picked those up yesterday from the library and didn’t quite have time to read the synopsis at the back just then, but now that I have I am looking forward to reading them. They are horror novels, the first being Patrick McGraths’s Spider and the second being John Fowles’ The Collector.

It seems that in both cases I will have a ‘mad monologist’ on my hands. While horror was not a genre I used to like very much, ever since I was introduced to Steven King’s works I have been undeniably drawn in. I suppose it all started one evening when I was home alone (don’t most things?). I think I was 13 and very excited because this was the first time they were gone for the whole night. Obviously I watched TV for as long as I could and while skipping through the programmes I stumbled over the movie Carrie. Needless to say it was quite late, dark outside, but I still couldn’t resist watching. Also needless to say, I was scared out of my wits by the end and grabbed my cat before going to bed. Being all alone that night was really not an option.

But then I started doing some reading about the author and started reading It, which is doubtlessly one of King’s most well-known novels. Since at more than 1000 pages it is quite a long book, it took me a while to work through it as a 13-year-old, and even though some scenes made me cringe and shiver I couldn’t stop. I suppose this is one of those cases where the ‘fascination of the abomination’ (another book I read much later and really liked: Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness) took over. King’s writing style is so very compelling, and I remember several instances when my parents actually had to not-quite-but-almost force me to put the book away and go to sleep. Not that sleep came very quickly those nights, mind you.

My knowledge about Steven King as an author does actually not go very much further than knowing that he is famous, has written a lot of books and is read by people all over the world. I thought long and hard about this after having finished It. I just find it fascinating how he plays with base human fears, and the atmosphere he creates him his books is something I haven’t ever found again in quite the same fashion. He combines the idyllic with grotesque and horrific happenings, which ultimately scare you even more because you don’t expect a picture perfect place to become the setting for murder or slaughter.

While I liked It very much, my favourite Stephen King novel is The Dark Half. The plot is intricate with several layers: the protagonist author Thad Beaumont creates a pen name under which he writes edgy, gritty crime stories. His pseudonym, George Stark, is a lot more successful than he is, but Thad is not comfortable with the way Stark takes control of him during the writing process. Thad decides to quite literally burry his pseudonym and at the same time comes clean to his audience: Thad and Stark are one and the same person. However, Stark then starts manifesting himself as a flesh and blood person with no moral compass whatsoever and goes on a killing spree, taking out all the people involved in his ‘burial’. Towards the end it is revealed that, as a fetus, Thad had a twin but had absorbed him in utero. The remains were still in his skull but were removed when Thad was a child.

One can argue that Thad has multiple personality disorder or that George Stark was really only an evil spirit, but what fascinated me about this book was how King spun this mystery: for example people were killed by Stark but Thad’s fingerprints were all over the place because they share the same prints and the same DNA. As the reader, one knows that the air-tight alibis really are legit but Thad’s wife’s frustration and Thad’s confusion are so very palpable. Also, George Stark, as cruel and evil as he is, is still a very compelling character. He sees himself as a living and breathing person and in his warped mind killing to stay alive is a legitimate course of action.

It sounds absurd but I found myself almost sympathizing with him in several instances because the need to live and the wish not to die is so very human. In some instances he also seems almost childish in his reasoning. The discrepancy between an adult person who childishly maintains that ‘thinking happy thoughts’ is important fascinates and troubles the reader in equal measure. This is also part of Steven King’s ‘genius’. You feel sorry for the villains, and while you clearly know that they are violent, unstable and dangerous, the writing makes it almost impossible not to be drawn to these characters.

I can highly recommend this novel because the read is absolutely worth it. Obviously, I am a little biased, but I think most people will find it enjoyable once they start reading it. In the end, sometimes being scared is fun. It’s thrilling to push your heat-rate through the roof, because from time to time everybody needs that ‘kick’.